Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
