he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
two words...techno handjob
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
