my vag is so smooth its legendary
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
