Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize