thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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