If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
