When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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