Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
