Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
