I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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