I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
