I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
