I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
