Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
