You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
