the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
