Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
