I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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