Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My dick has a subreddit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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