I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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