It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
