so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
