Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
