I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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