at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
