what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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