sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
