what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I die, sorry about rent.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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