You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
