i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
