can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
