I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
