you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
