I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Come on in and take your pants off
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