K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
