therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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