yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
