After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
