Sry I called you an 8
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
