It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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