I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
