You just made me feel so damn special
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
