rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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