He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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