Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
