Me. At least after what I've been through.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I need moral support for this bender
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize