You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
