dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
