I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
