Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
